Be it any room in my house or on my person, I keep it neat and I keep it clean. This, without question, includes my sweet, un-cherried, round mound of glory be AND the hole it be sprouting from.
I eat right, plenty of fiber and other good foods, to ensure it comes out as clean and sweet as when it went down in the first place. I'm all about a nice tight turd; not too hard, definitely not sloppy gloppy and I, especially, like to finish it all off with a nice clean sweep of Charmin. There will be no residue in, or about, my HOUSE!
Sorry, but if I'm gonna get fucked (and I AM going to get fucked), I expect a little tongue prep to get my ass salivating, and, for that action, I'll be damned if I'm gonna have any shit, of any kind, slathered about for anyone to see or smell.
All I ask in return, is the same; a nicely kept, man-musk scented chute, chomping it's ass lips in anticipation for my tongue to slither and slide up, down, in, out and all the fuck about. Prepping that sweet ass for a bulldoze ride to Heaven, Hell or wherever the fuck I decide to bluster and blow. Yet, if I see one dingleberry or smell even the slightest hint of shit anywhere nears me, best believe yo ass will be sent to the showers, and, not trusting your dirty ass'd self to do it right, I'll be marching right behind with a big ol' bar of soap to ram so far up your pooper you'll be shitting bubbles for a month.
Sweaty and manly...?!? That's right... Wiggle and moan, show me your throne; best you believe, I'll throw you my bone.
Shitty and gross...?!? What..., no hands or arms for a wiper? Wrap your poopy ass in a diaper, and make like the Pied Piper; shitting your pants, right the FUCK out my door!
Also, expect a right hard kick in that freshly fucked ass of yours, if, for one second, you think you'll just flip over, ass fouled mouth and all, without first bumping hips with me as we brush and rinse our toofies.
We, as gay men, may fuck, suck and wrastle about with our cocks swinging and our asshole singing, like dirty, sweaty, be-deviled wild boars, but there is no reason to look or smell the part. Sorry, just keeping it clean!
Spartan?!? Pussy and beer for dinner, AGAIN?!? I already told you, if you don't eat my meat, you can't have my pudding! |
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